Navigating Anniversaries & Special Dates
Gentle Support for Difficult Days
Anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas and other special dates can stir strong emotions after the loss of a loved one. These moments can feel heavier than ordinary days — and that is natural. At Lodge Brothers, we understand how difficult these occasions can be, and we are here to offer guidance, support and compassion.
There is no right or wrong way to approach these times. What matters is that you allow yourself the space to feel, remember and honour your loved one in a way that feels meaningful to you.
1 — Acknowledge Your Feelings
You may feel sadness, longing, relief, anger or confusion — sometimes all at once. These feelings are natural. Acknowledging them gently is often the first step toward coping with the day.
2 — Plan Ahead
Sometimes, uncertainty can be more difficult than the day itself. Planning how you will spend the anniversary or holiday — alone, with others, or somewhere meaningful — may help reduce anxiety and bring some structure.
3 — Create Gentle New Traditions
Some families find comfort in creating a small tribute, such as:
-
Lighting a candle
-
Visiting a special place
-
Cooking their favourite meal
-
Listening to their favourite music
-
Writing a note or letter
These quiet acts of remembrance can help you feel close to your loved one while moving forward gently over time.
4 — Lean on Others
Talking to friends, family or support groups can make a difference. Sharing memories or simply talking about how you feel often brings comfort. You do not need to face the day alone.
5 — Look After Yourself
Grief can be exhausting. Try to eat well, rest and include small moments of calm — a walk, reading, music or time outdoors. Simple routines can bring stability when emotions feel uncertain.
6 — Be Gentle with Yourself
There is no correct way to grieve — and no timetable. Whether you wish to keep traditions, change them, or do nothing at all — your way is enough. Your feelings are valid, whatever they may be.
7 — Keep Their Memory Alive
You might choose to:
-
Make a memory box
-
Look through photographs
-
Revisit favourite stories
-
Share memories with others
-
Keep something special on display
Remembering is not holding on too tightly — it is often part of healing.
Recommended Books for Grief Support
For Adults
-
“A Grief Observed” — C. S. Lewis
A candid and honest account of grief following the loss of a loved one.
-
“It’s OK That You’re Not OK” — Megan Devine
A compassionate exploration of grief without pressure to “move on.”
-
“The Year of Magical Thinking” — Joan Didion
A personal reflection on grief, memory and living after loss.
-
“Finding Meaning” — David Kessler
Looks at the sixth stage of grief — how to rebuild life after loss.
-
“Healing After Loss” — Martha Whitmore Hickman
Daily reflections offering comfort and gentle guidance.
For Children and Teens
-
The Invisible String — Patrice Karst
-
Badger’s Parting Gifts — Susan Varley
-
Michael Rosen’s Sad Book — Michael Rosen
-
Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers — Earl A. Grollman
Reading together can be a comforting way to talk about loss, especially when words are hard to find.
Bereavement Support — Local and National Services
If you need further support, the following organisations offer guidance for individuals and families:
Your GP or local council may also offer access to counselling and community support networks across Surrey, London and Berkshire.
You Are Not Alone
Difficult dates may always hold emotion, but over time they can also become opportunities to remember with love rather than only with pain. However you choose to spend the day — quietly or surrounded by others — your way is valid.
When you are ready to talk — we are here to listen.
This is the Lodge Family Difference.
Lodge Brothers
Trusted since 1780
From simple farewells to traditional funerals
Contact Us
24 Hours a Day Call: 020 8818 7725
Or contact us online for advice, assistance or a quotation. When you need someone to guide you — we listen, we help, we take care.